Sunday, April 17, 2011


The sky was painted  a flat purple and I was eating strawberries.
The cherry bombs exploded, leaving behind firework-shaped redness in the sky. I blinked but the colors wouldn’t go away. They just hung there, suspended by invisible threads. I let them. Who was I to tell them to come down? They could take their own sweet time. They could take a hundred years and a day.
How come I end up where I started?
Drawing kittens on my toes
Who is Katy?
The winds were blowing really really really fast and I couldn’t hear myself think. All I could hear was whistling and whistling, wailing in my ears and my head was about to explode. It was about to explode and soon bits of brain and membrane and skull would come flying out.
My shadow was dancing. It was whirling around like a dervish and I was standing there just staring at it, dumbstruck.
The girl sang and her voice soared. It was flying, soaring like a seagull, now it was deep and low, like the purr of a wildcat. Now it was sweet, smooth as melted chocolate.
She had tears in her voice. I drowned myself in the tears.
The man looked at me oddly, told me to sit down or he’d make me. I refused, I shook my head no, and he came forward threateningly. I stood my ground and then he struck me on the side of my head and the world swayed. Everything went black.
Thunder rolled. (Inappropriate slaughter.)
I could feel it in the air. Taste it in the water. It was despair, hopelessness written over each and every ascpect of their lives.
The nauseating man was always talking, always talking. The mindless chatter flowed from his lips in ceaseless waves, the way sewage flowed into a river. It went over my head, whatever he said. I had trained myself to shut off my ears and mind whenever I was around him, to wear a mask of impassivity that betrayed none of the emotions inside of me. I watched his fat blubbery lips moving, I heard sounds coming out of them; and yet I understood nothing, comprehended nothing.
The rainbows were melting and I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out to taste them. But they forever stopped, stopped just short.
Probably my favorite, they said, peering over the tops of their specs, looking importantly at the papers stacked in front of them. I shifted in my faux leather chair.
Who is Katy?
She died when I was still a whisper in the air, when the idea of me was floating around in his head, too small to be noticed, but there all the same.
The videotape was running and it was making chokey noises too. Suddenly the VCR blew up and caught fire and then the whole television came up in flames. I screamed I don’t remember if I did.
Then I left. Floated away until I was only a memory.
She stared and stared and stared and nothing happened. She stared and stared and stared and nothing happened.
It sounds like memories.
It sounds like dreams that someone dared to dream. It sounds like sorrow, and it sounds like cold, cold, despair. Like the tiniest of sighs escaping someone’s mouth, like the taste of having belonged.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


KHEKHEKHE (That, by the way, is this extremely weird laughter I do. Iz FUN.)
Oh oh Hamza gave this to me. Hamza Bin Laden at Hamza-The Philophaster. ^^


*bear hug*
You made me so happyyy :D :D
I'm not going to follow any rules though. So there. :D

Monday, April 4, 2011

Why am I such a consistent slacker?

I gave a statistics exam today.

I didn't know SHIT.

I swear. I actually thought I’d gotten the wrong question paper when I first looked at it. I was about to ask the invigilator for the correct one when I noticed the paper number written on the top right corner of the sheet.


I took a deep breath and started scanning the questions.

Question 1:
Anne has a fair sided dice. She rolls it six times. Find the probability that she suffers from constipation on Saturdays only.

What? That is what it looked like to me okay. O___o

I carefully measured a space the width of four fingers on the answer paper, and left it blank. Maybe later God would send me the answers.


Questions 2 and three were skipped in a similar fashion.

By the time I reached question four and had gone through it, all I could think was

Question four was something about different colored flowering heads, or something. Flowers that were flowering. Heads with flowers shooting out of the ears. Whatever.

Anyway, the question regarded probability. (Yes, I know how to identify questions now. Whoop-dee-doo,) I did NOT get it. How the HELL would it help me in real life if I knew what conditional probability is? And that too regarding heads that flower. It won't. It won't it won't it won't.

I scribbled some incoherent looking jumble of numbers down. It didn't make sense to me. Maybe, by some odd chance, it would be right and I’d get three marks for my effort.

Yeah, right.

The next question was basic stats. Draw up a table; make a histogram. Easy as pie. I think I did that right. If not, then, well, LAANAT.

The last question was no better. Permutations and combinations. I always go crazy with those. I did the best I could, really I did.

But whut.

There were children outside and they were running around and screaming and I wanted to scream too. The kids sitting around me were asking for extra sheets.

What were they writing, flipping essays?

'Sheet' said one

'Sheet' said another. That’s what they were all saying. Sheet sheet sheet everywhere. And all I could think of was, yeah that’s right, sheet. BULL sheeet.

I had scribbled all over the question paper. Little sad looking men, flying cows and something that looked like a dog with a shoe on its head. There were also a number of oaths directed at the questions. 

I hated this. 

The girl next to me had a pocketful of imli flavored candy and she was sucking on them one by one. Loudly. 

I stared blankly at the white toes of my trainers. I’d memorized every scratch there by now. 

The invigilator, who also happens to be my stats teacher, wasn't letting me go. She hates me, that woman. She does. She thinks I’m a stupid noob with a Neanderthal brain who doesn't know shit. She shot me a glare every time I even shifted. It was torturous. 

Waiting. Waiting. 

I kept staring at my answer sheet, two pages of which were completely blank, save for the question number. 

The boy sitting in front of me was feverishly scribbling away on his paper, as if his life depended on it. I eyed him with interest. I had never noticed him in school before. He had two calculators. I sighed. When he caught me looking, he actually covered up his paper with his arm. I rolled my eyes at him. 

When we were finally allowed to leave, I was the first one to get out.

If all goes well, I’ll get eleven. Out of fifty. I sure aim high, don’t I?

Sunday, April 3, 2011


^ Yes that. Woah, right?
SO, I gots ze award from Maryam at A Different Girl.
Here's my award:


Okay, so there are rules too:
1. Thank the person. 
2. Share seven facts about you.  
3. Tag few people and let them know about this.


Second. Um. Here goes:

1. I'm really tall. For a girl living here, that is. Five foot nine. 

2. I crack up at the randomest of things. If I find something funny, I'll laugh about it like an absolute madwoman for inappropriate amounts of time until people start to get annoyed.

3. I LOVE food. I think food is the best thing that ever happened to us, like ever.

4. That's another thing I do. I like putting on different accents and behaving weirdly, for no good reason.
I can do bimbo.
I can do maila.
I can do English-lady-having-a-cup-of-tea.

5. I'm a fantasy-freak. My favourite is The Lord Of The Rings, which is like the best fantastical series conceived EVAR.

6. I procrastinate. A LOT.

7. I don't talk to my dad much these days. Which is weird. Considering we live in the same house and all.
OH who am I kidding. I live in my room :p

Okay so that's done. Now I shalls tags a few peeple. (I'm giving you this BTW. The award. :/)
OH and since I really don't get the concept of bloggers being stylish unless you've, well, seen them, I am going to award the following with zhis:

Lioness Without A Pride at Bespectacled Views

You guys totally don't have to do anything according to the rules. Just accept the award, I imagine this tagging and fact business can get a little tedious. (I went through with it since it was my first award EVAR. Okay I should shut up.)



I am almost never in a mood like this. Almost. NEVER, (damn that almost.)

I feel like laughing like a six year old who just discovered that the world is made of chocolate. I feel like laughing like Muttley(HAHAH OKAY I'D FORGOTTEN HOW FUNNY THAT SOUNDED :D) the dog. I feel like bursting into peals of laughter. I feel like squealing loudly and jumping up and down. I feel like getting gloriously drunk on my happiness and singing this.

The last time I felt like this was when, one day, I felt as if my mind would explode and I chanced upon this(okay this may be ruining the post but what the he;ll. I didn't chance upon this, it was a vague memory in my head, so I searched for it :D):

Ain't he adorable? :D 

Anyhow, what this little owl did was, he made my mood soar. He made me deliriously, madly happy, and I sat alone in my room at two in the morning and laughed like a hyena. It felt good.

It's amazing how the smallest of things can trigger a whole avalanche of emotions. How the tiniest thing can have a huge impact on how the rest of your day goes.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

I know, I know, a dirty word

They say you should always do whatever it is that scares you.

It's not that easy. Your heart beats so fast it feels like it is going to fly away, your shoulders tense up in the most annoying way possible and you actually have to make an effort to keep breathing. And you question yourself a million times before you actually do it. And when you do, all you can think is shit shit shit why the HELL did I have to do that I totally shouldn't have OMG what now shit.

Not exactly the best feeling in the world.

Getting over it is the hard part. You think up a million things that may be done in order to avoid embarrassment(if whatever you did was embarrassing in some way), which may be as drastic as changing your name and disappearing from the virtual world(IN MY CASE :O :O) or relatively sane, such as just waiting it out.

Sigh. That's what I'll have to do I guess. Wish me luck.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I'm such a noob when it comes to making this blog look better!
Anyhow. Furree Katt was nice enough to tag me in one of her posts, so I will have to respond :D

So, it's about my favourite things.

(Which reminds me of this :D)

1. Food - Desi
2. Colour - Purple
3. Animal - DOGS! And tigers.
4. Sports Team - HAH! I am the non-sportiest person alive :D
5. Dessert - Fudgyy brownies <3
6. Artist/Singer/Band - LOTS! These days it's Radiohead.
7. Pair of Shoes - Okay, hahaha. I just remembered that I have huge feet so my choice of shoes is limited XD So they're pretty much all equally treasured :D       
8. Outfit - PJs!
9. Skinny Jeans - Are the love! 
10. Brand - I'm not one for brands
11. Perfume - Whatever it is my mother wears :p
12. Accessory - My HUMONGOUS turquoise bag
13. City - Islamabad
14. Hobby - Reading, drawing
15. Beauty Product - Um. Olivia, Shukriya? XD haha, I don't use any.
16. Snack - SAMOSAY :D
17. Holiday - We don't have 'holidays'. WTF.
18. Movie -The Goofy Movie 
19. Song - Go Slowly, Radiohead (THESE DAYS!)
20. Guilty Pleasure - Talking like a maila. mailee? Whatever :D

I will tag... no one. :(
Because I'm still a loser blogger who doesn't really know anyone here, haha.
So even if I DO tag someone they'll go all WTF WHERE DID SHE COME FROM :O :O
So, yeah. No tags.