Saturday, July 20, 2013

standstill

Sometimes you feel like pouring the contents of your heart out in their entirety; 
tendinous cords and all
just letting it all out and not care, for once, about the many many walls you have carefully constructed, not care about the spikes running along their tops or the deep trenches at the bottom, not care at all and 
just get past it all in one giant brave leap of faith.

There are some people you want to make the jump for. Some people your heart tells you you can trust fully wholeheartedly completely 
without any doubts 
at all.

But still the tiny voice at the back of your head bugs you, still it tells you to be wary. 
surely this cannot end well. It's just not possible

So you retreat into your shell.

And then
at the end of it all, it’s you again. 

you with your thoughts and your crippling self-doubts and fears and insecurities
you with your meticulously erected barriers
you with the invisible hand crushing around your heart, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until it goes squidge between the fingers and turns into a mess.

just you 
alone.

6 comments:

  1. this is me all the time about everything.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :o
      You commented here BEFORE I went all whatupbra on you!

      what
      a
      cool

      :D

      Delete
    2. Also this is so shady hehe
      did you get it did you get it?

      Delete
  3. I think everyone can relate to this a bit.

    Also. Wow, this place hasn't been updated in a while.

    ReplyDelete