I hate it when Ammi drags me along to dinners and receptions and parties hosted by people that I don’t know.
It is horrible. It is painful. It is torturous.
I sit there trying not to get bored out of my mind while the aunties gossip and the uncles discuss politics. I am left to socialize with their offspring, if any, or sit and watch TV. Or read the newspaper. Or maybe sit with them and listen in. Basically do whatever the hell I want to do. Now obviously my mother would like if I behaved like the mature young lady she expects me to be and talk to the aunties about makeup and the uncles about sports and the kids about Cow And Chicken and conduct myself like a well-spoken confident young woman.
I can’t do it. I just cannot. I sit and sulk and watch TV for a bit and wait for the food. And then I eat. And then I start getting bored so I sort of lose it.
The last time I sort of lost it was last week. We were at my mom’s khala's for an insanely sumptuous dinner (YESSSS.) and I was, as usual, bored out of my mind. I was randomly digging around in my bag, making a mental inventory of all the stuff in there, and I came across these shades that someone once gave to me. They’re square and have diamantes on the sides and they are totally lawls. I immediately put them on. Right there in the sitting room full of aunties who tch-tch at even a hint of unladylike behavior. They ignored me for a bit, and then two of the younger aunties started snickering at me.
‘How’s the view from in there, theek nazar aa raha hai?’
I replied that yes thank you I can see very well and continued staring at them through my asamkewl shades. They were staring to get uncomfortable. Then the khala asked me if I was feeling okay.
I loudly told her that I had pinkeye.
I think I embarrassed Ammi. Hhahahhahahhaahhahahahahaha. :B
She told everyone not to mind me because I’m a shodi and everyone proceeded to laugh hysterically.
I really couldn’t care less. At least it made the evening more interesting.